the confused heart and the chaotic mind

nothing feels right
nothing feels wrong
with so many people around
still feel so alone
such is the situation with
the confused heart and the chaotic mind.

with so many options
and numerous floating situations
everything seems simple
everything seems complex
I want to get away from all the bad
but also
desire to grab all the good from each option
forgetting the fact
good comes with bad
rose comes with thorn.

why am I so confused?
for all the good things
I want to do
for all the bad things
I fear to face.

why do I feel so chaotic?
for the brainstorming
going in my mind
with all the mind maps
I am trying to create.

whatever the outcome may be
chaotic minds can bring a lot of change
confused heart will figure out the option
may have to travel a lot
here and there
to very distant place in search of peace
the curiosity will never die
the anxiety will try to dwell
but the living situation will bring light
and a way to go long way
such is the situation with
the confused heart and the chaotic mind.

Every individual should be treated equally.

Note: Before you start reading, I should tell you I am just presenting my opinion and if you see I am wrong somewhere feel free to correct me in comments. This is the serious issue which has been prevalent in social structure for a long time.

Initially I put the title as “Every woman should be treated equally.” But then I read Agratha’s answer and decided to change the title to “Every individual should be treated equally.” because women are also individuals and they have every right to be treated the same way.

Why not Women?

According to Wikipedia, Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment. A feminist advocates or supports the rights and equality of women. When I walk down the road, I don’t find uncomfortable or unsafe. Not only me but every man don’t feel uncomfortable or unsafe in terms of sexual harassment, eve-teasing, lustful eyes and rape. If men can roam around freely why not Women? We talk so much about feminism and equal rights for women but we have failed to bring our words into action. A year ago, I was talking to a friend from Bangalore, she likes to travel. One weekend, none of her friends were in the city and she was getting bored at her place, so I suggested her to explore places near the city. She replied: “It’s still unsafe for a girl to roam around alone.” I felt bad not only because a friend was feeling unsafe but also because a girl was feeling unsafe, for the fact that she could not move freely.  I live in a country where people value culture very much and in that very culture, there is a lot of freedom allowed for men and there are a lot of restrictions on women and if I remove some cities the condition of women is not at all acceptable. There are a lot of differences between the way men and women have been leading life.  Yesterday a friend of mine told me “you know it’s our culture, the way women are living. They are not allowed to drink, smoke and many more things in many parts of the country.” I told him “it is us who make the culture and follow social norms, if we find anything is not rational or sensible, we should step ahead and change it.” I am from a very small village of under-developed state (Bihar) of India where the mentality of people is still orthodox and conservative. I often got myself into a debate with my parents on many issues and our views clash a lot.

From the day I got my senses, one question has been haunting me: Why not Woman?

Why can’t a woman do things which I can?

Why are not they allowed to do things which I am?

Why are not they allowed to do this?

If a boy can talk freely, why not a girl?

If a male can roam around the street, why not a female?

If a male employee get appraisal for same quality of work, why not a female employee?

If a male feel safe returning home at midnight, why not women?


Stop generalizing you know very little

I have found many guys making generic statements about whole community of women, they know very little but make very huge and heavy statements. Having a bad experience with some people does not earn you right to anyone to say anything about whole community. People have made such comments and make the other people uncomfortable. Let me tell you something, I have never been in a relationship, every time I liked somebody or got something for anybody inside me I got rejected, played or trolled. If the girl whom I liked did not reciprocate my feelings or did not go my way should I call her a bitch? No, I should not.  I have had some very bad experience with some girls too. Last year, a girl who had been friends of me for 3 years tried to dive me into relationship despite the fact that she already had a boy-friend at that time. When I found out, I tried to talk to her about what she was doing with me and I got a death threat from her. She knew some people who could make her motives real, I thought it better not to argue with such people. Last month, a girl vandalized me publicly on a social platform whom I thought as a friend and I had not done anything wrong.

I have had experience from those two persons but that does not mean I should call every girl a bitch or make some generic harsh comments about anyone. I would be a big ignorant fool if I made any generic harsh statements against women. You must be thinking why I am emphasizing on commenting. It’s not only about the comments but the mentality and attitude of people. Making such comments show how you see and treat people.


This act of making stereotype statements does not go for men only but women also. There are not only bad boys or bastards in the society, there are also nice and sensible person who think good of them, who respect them and who can fight with them too if time comes.


Why special treatment?

At many occasions, there is a special treatment given to a particular gender for any act while the person of another gender gets to face the bad treatment.

Watch the video and you will know what I am talking about: Video on domestic violence.

I have found when boys stop talking to girls, dump them or do anything which she do not expect them to be, they say “he is an asshole, he is such a douche bag that I won’t let him kiss my shoes and many such comments”. But when any girl does same with boys, they say “we don’t have any obligations towards them, stop whining, get over and move on.”  Recently I read on a blog in which Josh Swin has pointed out something which is worth sharing, check it here:It’s not okay for girls to punch guys in the face either.

I am not saying everybody behave this way but why should one be given special treatment and moreover why does one seek special treatment?

The women have been facing patriarchy for so long and there has been a lot of feminists who have been fighting for equal rights. The question is: how much has it affected and to what extent people have begun to act in addition to talking about feminism? The fight is on and there are a lot of people who believe in the same notion but still there is a huge part of population where we need to spread awareness so that they could see things rationally and act sensibly. We have to come forward and stand for what’s right? We have to do the needful for the same. Following are possible solutions we can look to:

  • Start from roots: We should teach and tell the kids in their very childhood about the fact that everybody is equal. One shouldn’t get any sort of privilege based on gender, color, family status or anything. Not only we should tell but we should treat them equally so that the idea of discrimination or dominance of one to another could never dwell in their minds. We should stop giving preferences to male, white or fair kids and so on. When a child is born, he/she comes with the body only and the biological difference. The way we nurture them, the environment we keep them in, the school where they study, the kids they plays with affect their mindset very much.
  • Stop being an audience: One of the biggest problems we face in the current society is that people believe in minding their own business when they should step forward and do something. They don’t want to step forward because they haven’t faced such situations. They don’t consider their duty as an entity of society to do something; they forget one thing “it may be possible that they may get to face any situation like that then who will help them if everybody attain such mentality”.
  • Spread awareness and be ready to aware yourself: When we observe that anybody in our acquaintance is doing anything not sensible and which should be checked we should go ahead and discuss with them. Don’t impose anything, just try to give them some clear insights over the deeds and aware. Similarly when somebody is trying to aware us, we should at least listen to me, it’s not necessary that we should abide by them, listen to their words and think if what they are saying is correct or now.

The choice is ours whether we want a society which treats everybody same or attain biased treatment for different. But keep in mind if we choose the biased treatment we should be ready to get that type of treatment at any moment of our life.